Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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