ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
