Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
