Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
