she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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