I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
