shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
