if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
