My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
