if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
