Define "chronic" masturbator.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm at about main and main street
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
