I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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