I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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