just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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