I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
