Having a random hookup so left but love u
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Randomize
