The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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