We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
