i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
