so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
