im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
