my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
