It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need help removing her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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