I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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