Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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