I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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