Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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