I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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