Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
