i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
