The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A+ Viking dick
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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