Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Less talking, more tequila
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
