one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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