saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
