She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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