I have demons in me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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