two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
