i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize