haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
