i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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