Where is the hickey?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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