Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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