Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
