Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
