Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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