I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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