p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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