i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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