There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
