I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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