Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize