This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
