come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
