Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
