We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm both gender and math confused
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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