Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
