all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
