Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
