On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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