My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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