Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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