i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list