using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.